Mollie’s Reviews of Kids Shows

Review

For all who follow me for my reviews, here’s what you’ve been waiting for: Mollie reviews kids shows she’s watched due to her daughters!

Bluey

Fantastic. A stunningly great, consistent show. Lots to appreciate as an adult. Dad is too good a parent—makes you feel bad.

Peppa Pig

Enough to appreciate as an adult while also being great for kids. Has some surprising sass to it. Was one of my top picks until Bluey came along.

Mickey Mouse + The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse

So, so good. Make me actually like the Mickey characters, which is shocking. The Donald and Daisy we get here are the GOATs. I love the shows, my twins love them, my wife thinks they’re disgusting and inappropriate.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Trash. Disney, the company that helped define and pioneer animation, should be embarrassed to put out such cheap garbage. Hot Dog song is great though.

Spidey and his Amazing Friends

My twins’ current obsession. Nothing really wrong with it, looks okay, and I like that it gives all three Spiders equal footing. Man though, are the three heroes utterly inept when it comes to stopping the bad guys.

Paw Patrol

A guilty pleasure for me. I don’t know why I like this show, especially given it’s about dogs and not the superior cats, but I do. Rubble is clearly best pup.

PJ Masks

Similar level to Paw Patrol, but not as good. Also suffers from “inept superheroes” syndrome. And where are these kids’ parents, letting them go out to fight crime when they should be sleeping?

Cleo & Cuquin

Twins don’t watch much anymore, but I typically liked the show. However, Cuquin is a total asshole, like many very young characters in these kinds of shows. He ruins everything and then Cleo has to fix it all.

Cocomelon

Obviously some sort of brainwashing indoctrination system for our children. Everything in this world just seems off, and the adults creep me out. And man the melody reuse is totally shameless.

Blippi

Watching Blippi makes you feel like you’re defecating all over you friend while he’s lying on a bathroom floor naked in a desperate attempt to go viral.

Treehouse Detectives

I don’t know that I have a lot to say about this show, but if it’s on and I have the time, I’ll sit and watch. So I guess that says something.

Masha and the Bear

This feels like a show you’d find on a dusty old VHS tape that came from 1950’s Eastern Europe, where all of the basics of what you’re watching make sense, and yet none of it does.

Word Party

Thanks, now I need to go rinse my eyes out with bleach.

Sofia the First

Twins have long since given up on this one, but I always liked it. It’s fun, and Sofia is a pretty decent character, considering how a lot of the other princess stuff often turns out.

Chip & Potato

Awful. The writing in this show is like nails on a chalkboard to me, and pugs are an affront to God’s glory.

Gabby’s Dollhouse

Anything focusing on cats over those dumb-ass dogs is always cool in my book, and I love how Lovecraftian some of the cats in this show get at times.

Doraemon

Nobody will want to hear this, but it’s the truth: Doraemon sucks. Nobita is a piece of crap, and deserves to get his ass beat by Gian on a daily basis.

Anpanman

Anpanman is better than it has any right to be. I mean, its titular character is completely uninteresting, but there are so many fun (and funny) side characters in the show.

Okaasan to Issho (With Mom)

A variety show for young children might seem like a weird thing for an adult to like, but there’s a lot of original music written for the episodes, and some of the songs are absolute bangers.

Innai Innai Ba (Peek a Boo)

Some similarities to Okaasan to Issho, but then benefits from having some weirder segments, and—with me once again praising a mutt—Wanwan has some IDGAF moments that make me laugh.

Pitagora Suitchi (PythagoraSwitch)

The best damn Japanese kid’s show you could ever hope to watch.

Calico Critters

Our daughters “watch” this. In other words, my wife is actually the one watching it, while our daughters pretend to watch to make her feel better.

Rilakkuma and Kaoru

If you have Netflix and haven’t watched this yet, what the hell are you doing with your life?